zaterdag, april 16, 2016

Externe Column: Three Time-Tensed Gifts

“Yesterday is history, tomorrow a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the present.” The wise sensei Oogway from Kung-Fu Panda thought me that. Deeply inspired by this peacefully looking turtle, I gave the essential philosophy quite some thought. I also gave mindfulness quite some thought, which embraces the same philosophy. But during my mindfulness experience, I noticed two psychological contradictions that make it not that straightforward to live for this very moment only. These two happiness-facilitating mechanisms are embedded in the future and past: anticipatory pleasure and gratitude.

We are always acquiring new or improved desires by nature. This makes sense from an evolutionary point of view; it’s an old survival principle. If a caveman desperately desires a shelter-giving cave, he will not stay satisfied for long with his rocky home since his desires change. He can’t be, since he needs to be motivated to leave his cave in order to find food in time and not starve to death. Therefore, we experience the feeling of anticipatory pleasure: to keep us on the move.

These feelings of desire in advance can actually be stronger than the feeling of satisfaction afterwards. You certainly have experienced the immensely fast decreasing satisfaction of an achievement which at first sight seemed like such a big deal, it promised to be a long-term relieve after achieving it; but it didn’t. Undoubtedly you already had a new desire in mind that would truly make you happy this time. Hence, a new anticipation pleasure has arisen. This is to make sure we keep looking ahead, getting to the greener grass. Nevertheless, despite its deceptive mental promises, anticipatory pleasure can be a valuable feel-good tool in the present. Dare to (day)dream.

Gratitude on the other hand, is actually the counterpart of always looking forward. Gratitude makes you realize what you already got: a present of the past. Writing down what you are genuinely thankful for each week should be enough to pull at least a tiny happiness-trigger, not to mention the positive side-effect of exercising more*.

Still, the message of the philosophy teacher turtle is meaningful. But feel free to also cherish your memories of the past and enjoy the exciting feeling of future desires. That makes three gifts; and the more gifts, the better. So to end with an additional quote by the great French writer Gustave Flaubert that even master Oogway could learn from: “pleasure is found first in anticipation, later in memory.”


* = (scientific research by Dr. Emmons and Dr. McCullough)